When you start to find your true self, when you start to release and let go of the shit. This is when the inner healing will begin. I have remembered, acknowledged, admitted, and shared my demons. Many of them anyways. As I confront each one at a time, I find myself having even more courage to deal with the next. Today I confronted my boss, in a big honest but final way. I was respectful, but honest, telling her I’m tired of her bullying me and that if I wasn’t reaching her expectations as her employee then it was time for me to move on. I’ll be honest, these past few months have been extremely stressful in our office due to conversions and software changes. And I have calmly asked her if she wants me to leave on more than one occasion when she was bullying me. Today was different. Today I was completely honest with everything. I told her she was a bully, I told her I love my job and I love the people I work with, but I am no longer interested in working in an abusive environment. At one point she told me she doesn’t realize she does it. Thats one of her old goto scapegoats, today I countered with if she doesn’t think her voice sounds “attacking”, that a woman her age must know that throwing things, stomping her feet and slamming doors is unprofessional and makes an unhealthy workplace. After an hour of calm discussion, me respectfully giving her examples of her bullying and she told me she gets crabby when she feels stupid. I told her she doesn’t need to feel stupid, shes human and she doesn’t know everything so what’s to feel stupid about? After an hour and a half discussion I hope our office can be a bit more pleasant. But I also realize that I’m done letting bullies bully me, even if the bully signs my paychecks, because I am worth more. I deserve to be treated with respect.
3 demons. 3 contributors to my condition. All confronted in the past 7 days in a solid healthy manner….by ME 🙂 !! I’m not sharing with you because I want to impress you (my husband is proud and that’s the only approval I care about) I’m telling you because I want you to know it’s possible. Take care of yourself. You’re worth it. You deserve it! Don’t wait for tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come.