More often than not, we learn our role during our childhood. As such, as adults we continue to play that role which consequently teaches the people in our adult lives the role we play.
Follow me: Growing up you are consistantly called a trouble maker due to various situations you find yourself in. Maybe your just clumsy, are a victim of bad timing, or simply act out in small ways due to a need of attention. Hypothetically speaking – there is a group of children in a room and a picture gets broke. Maybe the some of the children find it easy to blame you because they know you often get in trouble…OR…no child blames anyone but the adults assume it was you because you’re the trouble maker. *And, in reality, the picture broke because a cat jumped up onto the table and knocked it over. There is no way to prove it, so you are to blame.
Maybe this or something similar happens frequently and your inner self begins to believe your role in life is to be a trouble maker. Or maybe since you always get blamed anyway, you decide you may as well be a trouble maker because you’re going to get punished for something no matter what. Subsequently as you age this sticks with you and you either. A. Have little to no self esteem and live your life taking the blame for everything no matter what B. Become a complete hellion because well, truthfully you will most likely be called one anyway so why not
Maybe as a child someone learns that they are better than all the other kids. They learn that they are superior, for whatever reason. What role do you suppose that child will play in life as an adult? True, not always as there is no perfect science to figure out human behavior, but I think it’s safe to say this is a viable probability.
I’m going to go one step further, as a child you are regularly told that you are to blame. As a result, as an adult you play the role of the person at fault. Your children watch you play the person at fault role and as they mature they also treat you as the person at fault because it’s the role you have unknowingly taught them is yours. Hum… Opens up a whole new can of worms doesn’t it.
I could go on, but I suspect you get the jist of what I’m implying. You need to decide what role you want to play in your life. Then, you need to set your boundaries and expectations accordingly. Don’t allow the role others have put you in define you, unless it’s the role you want to take. There are healthy ways to make this transition. I have saught the guidance of a paid professional. Perhaps had I understood this earlier in my life I could have done it on my own. At this point however that’s neither here nor there. There are so many resources out there, so much support, don’t limit yourself. Don’t limit the possibilities of the life in which you want to live. The gift of life that was given to you, and only you can decide what to do with this precious gift. You only get one, so don’t let someone else decide for you, they have their own gift of life, they don’t need yours too.
Through all of this, remember that you are your own best advocate. You must accept, understand and finally act. You can do it all with confidence, as well as graciously and respectfully. We are all here with a different story, different characters, different genre. But what we all share is the want, the need to live our story in its entirety with a beautiful ending.
Decide what role you want to play in your story and what kind of story you want it to be. Choose the characters in your story wisely as you are not only the lead role, but the author, director, producer and publisher as well. Take pride in your story and in yourself, there is no shame in being who you choose to be.