Expectations Met as Important as Boundaries

I have learned so much about myself in the past year and I continue to learn each and every day. I have allowed people to push me around for so long, perhaps for always. However, when I got pushed too far into a situation that I could no longer handle, I would lose it and scream at whoever was closest. Now instead I am able to stick up for myself, I can hold my values and know that it’s ok for me to believe in myself, my wants, my needs, my feelings from the beginning leaving no reason for screaming.

The hardest part of getting mentally strong, is dealing with everyone else. People dont know how to deal with a pushover if they are no longer the pushover. One of my bully sons recently tried to smooze his way back into our lives while making demands. To his surprise, I didn’t crumble, I held true to my values, I stated the facts even if he didn’t want to hear them, and I protected my 17 year old son whom he threatened and bad mouthed. This is new territory.

It’s not only your family that has to learn to deal with the healthy you, but coworkers and friends do too. Which brings another interesting question…will your friends still be your friends when you use your voice?

I want to be surrounded by people whos values are the same as mine. Friends don’t have to agree on everything, but friends should support each other when one is dealing with a major issue. The bigger the trouble, the more support one needs. Good friends support one another.

What can you do to show your friends and family members you support them? What do your friends and family do to support you? Are you the one ALWAYS initiating texts or phone calls? Be good to yourself, stick up for yourself and your values. Don’t be afraid to stick to your expectations. We talk about boundaries and not letting people cross them, but included with that are your expectations. Be respectful, be honorable, and stay strong. Believe in what you need, you need it for a reason.

Published by Dazedmother

I'm a middle aged working woman. I have raised four boys of which my baby is 17. Motherhood began at age 17 for me. For 30 years every choice I've made was as a mother. This past year, two of my sons have decided life is better without me. I'm a mom, a grandma, a wife that was divorced and now remarried. Here I am, still trying to figure out this thing called life.

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