Dear Grandson

Hi Bubba. How was your day? Did you play games with your daddy? I bet you have grown so much since I’ve seen you. Are you wearing big boy underwear and going potty in the big boy potty? Do you still fit in all the dinosaur clothes we got? Do you still have the dinosaursContinue reading “Dear Grandson”

Confronting the Bully

When you start to find your true self, when you start to release and let go of the shit. This is when the inner healing will begin. I have remembered, acknowledged, admitted, and shared my demons. Many of them anyways. As I confront each one at a time, I find myself having even more courageContinue reading “Confronting the Bully”

Be A Duracell

Five days…Five days until I get into the F150 with my husband and begin our 1300 mile drive south to a white sandy beach. Room with a balcony, facing the beach. Dolphins, shells, sand and sun, waiting for me, waiting for us. I deserve a break, my husband deserves a break, WE deserve a break.Continue reading “Be A Duracell”

A Shock & Awe Kind of Week

I’m not sure how to go about this post, other than to simply share it in its entirety and discuss after. So grab a cup of coffee or tea, sit down and get comfortable. My week started with our oldest dog crossing the rainbow bridge. No matter how many dogs you have, no matter howContinue reading “A Shock & Awe Kind of Week”

Here I Sit

Here I sit waiting for my monthly autoimmune blood draw, thinking about the upcoming vacation. My husband’s parents are not far from there, and he has invited them to join us for an afternoon. OMG. They are going to be shocked when they see me 80 bigger then when they saw me last. OMG. WhatContinue reading “Here I Sit”

I Had A Bad Day

Today was a tough day. This is my vent today, I just need to complain for a quick minute. Nothing depresses me more then realizing all of the weight that I have gained from my autoimmune and depression med mixture since I’ve been in this depression slump. Weight is something I have fought with myContinue reading “I Had A Bad Day”

It’s Hard To Have Fun

My husband is taking me on a vacation! EEEEK!! and OMG I’M SCARED!! Hear me when I tell you that I AM excited. He is taking me somewhere I’ve never been before. He has taken me on long distance trips in the 9 years we’ve been together, but they were quick trips to see myContinue reading “It’s Hard To Have Fun”

I Want You to Know I Love You

My dear son. I have been so lost in my depression that I haven’t taken the time to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so responsible, determined, smart, hard working, honest, loyal and with a beautiful heart. I know life hasn’t been easy. Our family being riddled with addiction, alcoholism, selfishness,Continue reading “I Want You to Know I Love You”

Bad For Real or Bad For Me

I go to my psychology appointment today and burst into tears. I tell her all of the shit that’s been going on in my life the past two weeks and ask her if it’s because of medication? Is it because of my new diagnosis? “I feel like it’s all just too much.” And she tellsContinue reading “Bad For Real or Bad For Me”

The Mental Monster

People that knowingly suffer from mental illness often ask themselves the question “why me?”.   I think everyone deals with some sort of “personality defect” to some extent.  I suppose it’s simply a part of humanity.  Mental illness however can be a serious complication to ones life, and big or small, the ripple effect can carryContinue reading “The Mental Monster”