When Is the Time Right

When does the responsibility as mom go from the main support role to the supportive role? 18? 20? 25? I mean, I dont feel like a mom should just disappear when a kid turns 18. Because my 29 and 28 year olds banished me from their lives a year ago, after I gave more money,Continue reading “When Is the Time Right”

Another Beach Lesson

Today is a new day. Are you going to the beach, or are you bringing it with you? When I say “Going to the Beach”, if I’m not lucky enough to actually be on the sugarsand, I’m taking time to myself, concentrating on me, closing my eyes and envisioning myself on the 5th floor balconyContinue reading “Another Beach Lesson”

I Want You to Know I Love You

My dear son. I have been so lost in my depression that I haven’t taken the time to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so responsible, determined, smart, hard working, honest, loyal and with a beautiful heart. I know life hasn’t been easy. Our family being riddled with addiction, alcoholism, selfishness,Continue reading “I Want You to Know I Love You”

Bad For Real or Bad For Me

I go to my psychology appointment today and burst into tears. I tell her all of the shit that’s been going on in my life the past two weeks and ask her if it’s because of medication? Is it because of my new diagnosis? “I feel like it’s all just too much.” And she tellsContinue reading “Bad For Real or Bad For Me”

I Know I Did All I Could

Hi son, how are things? It’s been a long time since we’ve spoken, in fact soon it will be a year. Sometimes I think I should contact you, but then I remember you telling the world I’m a crazy bitch, and you telling your little brother you would beat his ass…and I realize you’re notContinue reading “I Know I Did All I Could”

Happy New Year Grandson

Good morning Bubba. How did you sleep? Have you decided what you will play today? Did you stay up late on New Years Eve? Did you have a party? Treats? I miss you so much Bubba. I can’t believe that soon it will be a year since your parents have let us see each other.Continue reading “Happy New Year Grandson”

Who’s Job Is It Anyway?

When there is a family feud, or family estrangement of any kind, who should make the first move? Not all that long ago my husband was at odds with his parents which sadly was all because of misunderstandings due to lack of communication.(thankfully all put behind them) At Christmas time I would tell him heContinue reading “Who’s Job Is It Anyway?”

Respectful Distance

I was expecting this Christmas to be horrible. I cried, I panicked, I was angry…and to my surprise, our Christmas celebration was probably one of my best ever. What happens to us at holiday time when we have lost members of our family due to a family feud or estrangement? I was so convinced thatContinue reading “Respectful Distance”

Don’t delay

If you’ve put your pride ahead of all else, it’s time to suck it up and realize there are bigger more important things to worry about than your pride. Don’t lose your chance to fix it, once they are gone, you’ve lost your chance to say I am sorry and you’ve lost the chance toContinue reading “Don’t delay”

Good Days and Bad Days-

I need to find PEACE. I have been so bitter lately, and it’s exhausting.  The closer it gets to Christmas, the sadder and more bitter I am. My heart aches each and every day. Half of me thinks about reaching out to them, and the other half knows that if I do I am onlyContinue reading “Good Days and Bad Days-“