To Be Clear

I use my blog as my outlet. Yes I know it is in writing and yes I know it’s here to stay. It’s like a tattoo. I get tattoos representing my life and or feelings that day. I wouldn’t erase a tattoo when that part of my life is over, because it is a reminderContinue reading “To Be Clear”

Breath taking

I couldn’t catch my breath. The initial excitement and shock-n-aw was over and there I stood in the kitchen with supper cooking on the stove, tears streaming down my face so hard I couldn’t see. My heart pounding, my hands shaking, gasping for breath as I cry so hard my body forgets to breath. MyContinue reading “Breath taking”

Validate

There’s that word again.  Why do we think we need to be validated?  Speaking from the viewpoint of a self loather the need for others to validate not so much me, but my ideas is much greater than it should be. In fact, some days it makes the difference between a good day or aContinue reading “Validate”

I’m Alive Validate Me

I haven’t posted in a while. Funny I thought being home more would mean I would write so much more. Instead, I have found myself catching up on all the things I have neglected the past 2 years because of my depression. I have painted, planted flowers, started walking 5 to 10 miles a dayContinue reading “I’m Alive Validate Me”

The Corona Fear

Are you scared? Even just a little? Are you uncertain? Does all of this feel surreal? I am. I am scared. I am uncertain. To be quite blunt this feels extremely surreal to me and I am scared A.F. I try to stay informed with the facts and try to steer clear of all theContinue reading “The Corona Fear”

Showing Substance

What could possibly justify the act of intentionally embarrassing or humiliating someone? Let’s get more specific, what could possibly justify the act of intentionally embarrassing or humiliating someone you love? I can’t say that I am innocent of committing this act against someone, however I can say with a clear conscience that I haven’t intentionallyContinue reading “Showing Substance”

Leave No Unfinished Business

Its 5:30AM Friday morning, In the past week I haven’t slept more than 16 hours total. This is the 3rd time in the past two weeks that I’ve been up the entire night. I can’t sleep. The more sleep I lack, the more places my mind goes. A middle aged woman died from the virusContinue reading “Leave No Unfinished Business”

Who would of thought….Quiet is Nice

Years ago, if you knew me, you never would have thought you would hear me “being quiet”. The virus has definitely changed a lot of things, one of which for me is time at home. Not time at home of my choosing, but time at home due to self quarantine per my employment. I haveContinue reading “Who would of thought….Quiet is Nice”

The Opportunity to Live what I Learn

I have learned I can love from a distance. Tomorrow it will officially be 1 year since I’ve seen or heard my sons voice. He’s not dead, he’s not in a coma, he’s not in another part of the world. He’s right here in the same city living 3.3 miles away from me, but heContinue reading “The Opportunity to Live what I Learn”

Expectations Met as Important as Boundaries

I have learned so much about myself in the past year and I continue to learn each and every day. I have allowed people to push me around for so long, perhaps for always. However, when I got pushed too far into a situation that I could no longer handle, I would lose it andContinue reading “Expectations Met as Important as Boundaries”