Excuses

It’s extremely frustrating to me when I go online to do a general search for toxic relationships between adult children and their parents.  The majority of the articles I see are written by parents giving estranged parents the advice to take the blame and apologize. WTF are you kidding me???? It pisses me off!!!!!!  Continue reading “Excuses”

Dealing with Toxic

As I sit here waiting for my monthly blood draw I find myself evaluating my life. Thinking about my kids, all of them, even the ones that aren’t in my life anymore because they’ve chosen not to be.   It occurs to me that both my greatest victory and my biggest failure are in oneContinue reading “Dealing with Toxic”

No one Said It was Easy

Some days all I want to do is stop existing.  It feels like a lifetime ago that I felt like I had something to smile about every day.  I know my children all loved and respected one another, or at least 3 of the 4 did, but now it’s only a distant memory.  I hateContinue reading “No one Said It was Easy”

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is a day of THANKS. A day to say thank you and appreciate all of our blessings. This wont be my first Thanksgiving without my 2 estranged sons, about 8 years ago they both chose not to come home and spend the day with me and their younger brothers. I admit after seeing myContinue reading “Thanksgiving”

Toxic People Pollute

Within our situation of being kept from our grandchildren, there are different reactions from various extended family members. As with anything in life, everyone has their own opinion. When the two oldest sons made the decision to disown me, their father and step father, they also quit staying in contact with their brothers. My youngestContinue reading “Toxic People Pollute”

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday sweetheart. How was your day? Did you have cake and ice cream? What kind of cake was it? How many presents did you get to open? Did you get any new dinosaurs? Did you get a new motorcycle to play with? I saw the picture of you by the window this morning. AreContinue reading “Happy Birthday”

Sobbing Grandma

I sat there with his turtle slippers on my lap, gripping his red sensory ball that he chose on one of our many shopping trips, sobbing as if I had lost part of my heart.  Who am I kidding, I have.  I have a large tote labeled with his and his sister’s names and theContinue reading “Sobbing Grandma”

My Heart Aches

Only two days until my little man’s birthday.  Lucky or unlucky for me that it’s an extremely crazy week at work so my mind is staying busier than normal from 7am to 5:30pm.  I’m making sure to get a minimum of 30 minutes on my treadmill each night to help my body cope with the stress.  I haveContinue reading “My Heart Aches”

Feeling The Loss

I can’t believe this week has come already. I have been dreading this week for several months. I have been doing better with my depression and making progress in my self healing journey, but the time has come that I have to face two of my toughest emotional triggers. This week will be our grandsonsContinue reading “Feeling The Loss”

I’m a Fat Girl (My Girl Story. My girl Vent about a Sensitive Issue)

Yes, I’m a fat girl. I’ve been told most of my life that I needed to lose weight. The funny part about that is, I wasn’t overweight when it started. My weight issue started when I was pregnant the first time. I gained 70+ pounds with that pregnancy. My weight went up and down fromContinue reading “I’m a Fat Girl (My Girl Story. My girl Vent about a Sensitive Issue)”