To Be Clear

I use my blog as my outlet. Yes I know it is in writing and yes I know it’s here to stay. It’s like a tattoo. I get tattoos representing my life and or feelings that day. I wouldn’t erase a tattoo when that part of my life is over, because it is a reminderContinue reading “To Be Clear”

First Encounter

Well back to the past that forever changed who I am today. This weekend is my nieces graduation. Our entire family came to show support by having a family gathering. My sister did not invite my estranged son, his wife or my grandson. I’m guessing she didn’t because she doesn’t agree with what they’ve doneContinue reading “First Encounter”

The Corona Fear

Are you scared? Even just a little? Are you uncertain? Does all of this feel surreal? I am. I am scared. I am uncertain. To be quite blunt this feels extremely surreal to me and I am scared A.F. I try to stay informed with the facts and try to steer clear of all theContinue reading “The Corona Fear”

Leave No Unfinished Business

Its 5:30AM Friday morning, In the past week I haven’t slept more than 16 hours total. This is the 3rd time in the past two weeks that I’ve been up the entire night. I can’t sleep. The more sleep I lack, the more places my mind goes. A middle aged woman died from the virusContinue reading “Leave No Unfinished Business”

Who would of thought….Quiet is Nice

Years ago, if you knew me, you never would have thought you would hear me “being quiet”. The virus has definitely changed a lot of things, one of which for me is time at home. Not time at home of my choosing, but time at home due to self quarantine per my employment. I haveContinue reading “Who would of thought….Quiet is Nice”

The Opportunity to Live what I Learn

I have learned I can love from a distance. Tomorrow it will officially be 1 year since I’ve seen or heard my sons voice. He’s not dead, he’s not in a coma, he’s not in another part of the world. He’s right here in the same city living 3.3 miles away from me, but heContinue reading “The Opportunity to Live what I Learn”

Expectations Met as Important as Boundaries

I have learned so much about myself in the past year and I continue to learn each and every day. I have allowed people to push me around for so long, perhaps for always. However, when I got pushed too far into a situation that I could no longer handle, I would lose it andContinue reading “Expectations Met as Important as Boundaries”

When Is the Time Right

When does the responsibility as mom go from the main support role to the supportive role? 18? 20? 25? I mean, I dont feel like a mom should just disappear when a kid turns 18. Because my 29 and 28 year olds banished me from their lives a year ago, after I gave more money,Continue reading “When Is the Time Right”

That Ugly Four Letter Word

I am not a first. I am not his first. Hell I’m not even in his first ten or twenty but I am his last, or at least that’s the plan ie my hope. A sensitive subject for many people, especially sensitive for low self-worth people, is their spouse or significant others past. Let meContinue reading “That Ugly Four Letter Word”

Another Beach Lesson

Today is a new day. Are you going to the beach, or are you bringing it with you? When I say “Going to the Beach”, if I’m not lucky enough to actually be on the sugarsand, I’m taking time to myself, concentrating on me, closing my eyes and envisioning myself on the 5th floor balconyContinue reading “Another Beach Lesson”